Hold On to Summer: Beachy Hair & Beautiful Legs

I subscribe to a philosophy that all people can be categorized by their favorite season, and that this holds some significant meaning regarding their respective personalities. Winter people like cold-weather sports; spring people are optimists; summer people are capable of tanning.

Personally, I dig fall. It’s my jam. New clothes, crisp school notebooks, technicolor leaves, and my birthday all come together to make this a magical time of year. Plus, the weather starts cooling down a bit, so makeup doesn’t melt off my face the same way it does in the bowels of hell mid-July. I am an “autumn person.”

However, I understand that some people are summer people. I am not–probably because I can’t tan. However, I do sympathize. This is a distressing time of year for summer people, watching the season slip away before their eyes like so many sunsets sinking into a warm August lake. We’re only a couple weeks from September!  So, to appease the summer set that desperately clings to these last few shreds of sun and fun, I have created this post.

Today’s tutorial is on two summer staples: beachy waves and killer legs. Let’s start with the hair.

Post-shower, I took my towel-dried hair and twist it away from your face, creating a bunch of finger-sized coils. At this point, I was sporting damp twisty dreads, not unlike Angelina Jolie in Gone in 60 Seconds.

Proof that even beautiful people can make bad follicular decisions.

I then secured my damp hair into a ponytail at the nape of my neck and spritzed the loose ends with Bumble & Bumble Surf Spray, but you could also use homemade salt spray by following either this or this recipe. Or use Google to find a different one. I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life. You do you.

With my damp dread-y ponytail and freshly applied product, I snuggled into bed and drifted to sleep. If you’re in a rush, you could probably just use a diffuser on your ends, but I’m lazy, and my stylist says air drying is good for me, so, whatevers. Again, you do you. Eight hours later, I woke up looking like this:

Makeup-less Nikki is not amused. I took this picture in my bathroom…

…and another shot in natural lighting.

Bonus shot, because the back of my hair is ridiculous:

You like my shower curtain? On clearance at Target, for my fellow basic bitches.

And to give you an idea of the staying power, I took some more shots when I got home from work. 8AM to 6PM, this style just got better with wear:

So. Bodacious hair. Done. On to legs. You will need a foundation that is at least 2 shades darker than your natural skin tone. I found this Maybelline Fit Me Foundation in shade 310 on clearance at Bartell’s Drugs.

$4.24, yo! I could bathe in this for less than the cost of an iPod!

That yellow jawline splotch is the foundation. If you look like you’re suffering from serious bruising, you’re probably doing it right.

You will also need a moisturizer. Ideally, you want an occlusive moisturizer, which sits on top of the skin and makes it look all shiny and plastic-y, like mannequin legs. I know a lot of people don’t like petroleum-derived ingredients in their cosmetics or skin care, but it doesn’t irritate my skin, and it seems petty of me to raise ethical issues with petroleum when I apply other hydrocarbons (aerosols, perfumes, solvents, etc.) to my body with wild abandon. Cosmetic uses for petroleum by-products are small potatoes to the oil industry; my glowy skin isn’t significantly benefiting oil tycoons or their corporate bigwigs. Petroleum jelly and mineral oil can be great for some people and comedogenic for others; if it aggravates your skin, try a plant-based oil like coconut or almond.

Now that my rationalizing is out of the way, you still need an occlusive moisturizer. Petrolatum is the second listed ingredient in Vaseline Cocoa Radiant body lotion, which is also inexpensive, so, that’s where I landed on the whole moisturizer issue. Take three parts moisturizer to one part foundation and mix them in the palm of your hand.

It looked pretty and swirly at this stage, so I snapped a pic, but you’ll want to mix much more thoroughly so as to avoid streaky application.

Now rub that shit in. Really work it. Petrolatum melts at roughly skin temperature, so pressing it in helps it blend with your skin texture. See comparison picture below:

Left leg has lotion + foundation; right leg only has lotion.

This is a great quick fix for any event where you’re going to be showing leg and getting photographed (weddings, birthday parties, bar and bat mitzvahs, trial arraignments, etc). Plus, it’s cheaper than Michael Kors Leg Shine (though it doesn’t smell nearly as good) and Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs (which I cannot apply for the life of me, it winds up everywhere but my legs).

So there you have it, two easy ways to fake summer staple looks. I will be rocking perfect legs and intentionally imperfect waves well into September.


One thought on “Hold On to Summer: Beachy Hair & Beautiful Legs

  1. Pingback: Natural, Shmatural | Nouveau Nikki

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