For anyone not watching The Weather Channel, the Midwest is currently as frigid as my spinsterish middle school choir instructor. My beloved Chi-town has turned into Chi-beria (clever portmanteau of Chicago and Siberia; gaze in amazement upon my boundless wit). Sadly, I do not live there anymore, so I am unable to warm your climes with my ineffable charm.
Of course, I’m in Seattle where it’s a sunny 45 degrees outside. But if I were back home, this is what I’d be wearing…
- A sporty tech-fabric turtleneck to keep me toasty and comfortable. As an unintended bonus, while wearing a white turtleneck you can easily imagine yourself as Diane Keaton summering in the Hamptons.
- A cashmere sweater. This Rag & Bone option is cool as fuck and has an uber-flattering neckline.
- Leather pants to keep your legs pleasantly warm (layered over fleece-lined tights for the ultra-chilly). These Helmut Lang stretch leather leggings are merely a faraway dream, but my wallet can certainly handle one of the many iterations of the leather legging look available at H&M.
- Sorel Tivoli boots. Snow doesn’t mess around, and neither do Sorels. They’re exceptionally weatherproof and have sturdy leak-proof seams. Shearling-lined or Thinsulate Bean boots would be an acceptable substitution. Both keep your toesies toasty while making you look like a celeb casually strolling the streets at Sundance (not that I would recommend you go casually strolling in -50 wind chill). NOT PICTURED: heavy-duty wool socks. You’ll want those, too.
- There is no love greater than my love for fishtail parkas. This Barbour one will last for decades.
- Leather gloves are a must, but you could lose a finger to frostbite if you have to take them off to text. These Grandoe tech gloves allow you to use a touch screen phone without losing a digit.
- Cable knit infinity scarf. Nothing looks cozier than a cable knit infinity scarf. Drowsy golden retriever puppies cuddled together on a flannel blanket in front of a gently crackling fire cannot hold a candle to cable knit infinity scarves.
To all my friends in the Midwest, stay safe and stay indoors!