There’s a very unsettling side effect to being a consumer of celebrity culture, and that is knowing intimate details about a person you have never met before and who has no idea you even exist. You pick up personal facts like how Channing Tatum was a dancer in Ricky Martin’s music video “She Bangs,” or that when Leighton Meester was born her mom was serving time in a federal prison.
But my idea of a celebrity is a bit different from what most people would expect.
My number one celebrity crush is Jean Godfrey-June, Lucky Magazine‘s longtime beauty editor. I started reading Lucky in 2002, two years after the magazine launched (and two years after Jean left her post as a columnist at Elle). The magazine played a pivotal role in developing my appreciation for mid-level fashion and cosmetics, as well as my procrastinating on 7th grade math homework. I devoured Jean’s monthly Beauty Closet piece in which she waxed poetic on her favorite products, managing to convey a compelling personal voice while simultaneously fitting the tone of the magazine. It was brilliant writing and the recommended products were always impressive (with the exception of next month’s ode to the innovative-brush-but-mediocre-formula L’Oréal Voluminous Butterfly Lashes mascara, but I understand that you’ve got to throw the advertisers a bone every now and then).
Point being, I know intimate details about Jean Godfrey-June. I know she prefers oils for skin care. I know she and I wear the same perfume (Orange Sanguine by Atelier Cologne, which she mentioned in September 2010 and December 2013, and which I began using in 2011 and wrote about a few months ago). Like I said, I’ve been reading this woman’s thoughts on life and beauty for 12 years. If I met her on the street I would feel compelled to ask how her daughter is doing and tell her about the new cleansing oil I’m using, but that would be creepy. We’re not friends. I’m just some obsessive weirdo fan. For all she knows I could be trying to Single White Female her and take over her life.* The cover photo with hearts I’ve drawn all around her face probably isn’t going to dispell any suspicions she might have that I’m a stalker. And maybe I am, because I really just wrote this article to brag about how Jean Godfrey-June and I both wear the same perfume, which is clearly evidence of my good taste in fragrance. Maybe I am a little obsessive…
*Can I use film titles as verbs? Is anthimeria still cool? Are people still verbifying nouns? Is that still a thing?